4 Year Old Humor

Avery has been very into jokes lately. Papa told him a riddle a few weeks back and Avery has been set on trying to make up his own. So I thought I could teach him a knock-knock joke. You know the one...

Me: Knock-Knock

Avery: Who's there?

Me: Banana.

Avery: Banana who?

Me: Knock-Knock

Avery: Who's there?

Me: Banana.

Avery: Banana who?

Me: Knock-Knock

Avery: Mommy, I think you should ring the doorbell.

Eh-hem. Why didn't I think of that? ;-)

4 Year Old Humor

The weather has been pretty lousy here lately and I suppose the rain is putting everyone in a dreary mood. It's hard to look forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas when you're being pelted with hail the size of gravel and rain drops with a vandetta. We got home Friday night from running errands and were met with the latter.

Avery: Momma, can I get out now?

Me: Yes but get out on Tristan's side because it's raining. (My logic being that Tristan's side is closer to the door so Avery would get less wet if he went through rather than around the van.)

Avery: Umm...Mommy?

Me: Yes Bean?

Avery: It's raining on Tristan's side too.

Ohhhhh my... :-)

4 Year Old Humor

Author's Note: Conversation which took place over a radio playing Toby Keith's I Love This Bar.

Avery: Mommy! Know what?!

Me: What?

Avery: Toby knows my teacher!

Me: He does?

Avery: Yup.

Me: And how do you know that, Bean?

Avery: Because he just said so in the song!

Me: He did?

Avery: Yeah he said..."I Love Miss Barb!"


Well darling little boy, who doesn't love Miss Barb? Now "S'cuse me while I kiss this guy." ;-D


For those of you poor un-lyrical folk the above is a referece to one of the (arguably) most misheard lyrics of all time...the line "S'cuse me while I kiss the sky" from Purple Haze by the legendary Jimi Hendrix. (For other amusing mishearings of Purple Haze you can visit Am I Right?) An accidental mishearing of a phrase is called a mondegreen. (Click HERE for the Wikipedia explanation.)

4 Year Old Humor

Tonight, the boys and I went out to eat with Nana and Papa. After eating a substansial meal, Avery looked at the one half of a chicken finger and three fries left on his plate.

Avery: "Mommy...I'm so full...Look at my belly." (Pokes his belly through his shirt.)

Me: "Yeah I see...I guess you are full. You don't have to finish your chicken and fries."

Avery: "Thanks, cuz I'm really, really full."

A few minutes later, Tristan cleaned his plate and announced that he wanted "eye ceam" (that's ice cream for those of you that don't speak 2 year old.)

Me: "OK TJ we'll go get you some ice cream."

Avery: "Mommy, I want some ice cream."

Me: "I thought you were full?"

Avery: "I'm always hungry for ice cream!"

I'd have to agree...Jello? Hell no...There's always room for ice cream.

Burdaa Caick

As you can see by the ticker up there our little chunk turned 2 on the 6th. We had a party for him today. He's delighted. He got several balloons and one large cardboard box. Of course the large Rock,Roll, and Ride Tricycle that produced that big old box and balloons is now forgotten. Poor Nana, lol. She thought he'd at least play with it for a few minutes. Must have been the 45 minutes it took me to put the damn thing together. Some assembly required my tush.

Before the party Mister Tristan decided to shock us all by learning a new set of words. I left here around noon to go and pick up the cake for the party. TJ picked out the Sesame Street cake the other night at BJs when we ordered. Before I left I told him and Avery I was going to pick up his birthday cake. When I got home Tristan was at the door waiting on me.

"Buuuuuuuurdaa Caaick!" (LOL Perhaps if I spell it phonetically you'll be able to hear it in your mind.)

For over an hour until the guests arrived Tristan ran up and down the hallway SCREAMING "Burdaa Caick!" at the top of his little shreiker lungs. After awhile Avery materialized from the realm beyond the noise.

Avery: "Man Mommy, Tristan is loud."

Me: "Yup he sure is. He's just excited. He wants to eat birthday cake."

Avery: "Yea. I'm going to lay down in my bed. I think I have a head-ick."

Yeah Mommy has a head-ick too. :-P

4 year old humor

Tonight, on the way home from running errands, Avery spotted the moon. It's not the first time he's seen it, obviously, but he always delights in pointing it out to us while the sun is still up. (Perhaps he's got a little of his daddy's Pagan in him, lol.) Anywho...I replied to his "Look Momma, the moon!!" with an oft-used line...

Avery: "Look Momma, the moon!!"

Me: "That's right, Avery. Say, 'I see the moon and the moon sees me.'"

Avery, puzzled: "Mommy...The moon doesn't have eyes."

Ahhh the smart ass gene is taking hold...I've groomed him well. :-P

Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it?!

OK so I will admit. This hasn't really been the best few months for me. Hell lets just go back and say the whole year has been pretty crappy. But I can say that I've tried to refrain from comming on here and whinning about it. I guess I am going to change that now. I've been feeling out of sorts lately and decided I need to start my journaling again to compensate for the lack of meds in my system (insert sarcastic sneer, lol.) Never really liked scrawling it all out on paper but here at the keys the words flow so much faster. I guess my blog has now become, among other things, my written account of what's going on in our little world. Since I'm pretty sure that noone reads the damned thing I don't think I'll offend anyone (my apologies in advance to any eye's that may in fact be reading at this very moment.) As justification for documenting my boring existence I can say this...At least I'll have my scrapbook journaling all finished. :D

So...Today was pretty ordinary. Avery's final day of preschool is tomorrow and as we approach it I realize what a trasformation he's made in the short school year. The little boy I sent to school was shy and clung to my pants leg, always falling behind when other's wanted to play. The little boy that's come home is a confident, outspoken leader. Each day we faced a new milestone...walking him into the room to unzip and hang up his coat and backpack, to now just leaving him with a wave at the door. It seems that overnight my sweet little baby has turned into a walking talking boy.

Ahh man...off I went with the sappy stuff. That's what I get for titling my posts before I write them, lol. What I had really wanted to write about was what Mr. Bean said to me today. I took the boys out to play while I cleared the front walk and drive of the grass clippings the mower had blown everywhere. When I took them out I told them that we wouldn't be out for too long as it was the heat of the day and the fresh cut grass would bother their allergies and asthma. After finishing with the walk, I camped on the front stoop for a minute to let him have a little extra time outside. Around a quarter of one I told them they had to come in and get lunch and then a nap as we were going out with Grandpa Fuzzie and Grandma Z this evening. Immediately, Avery baulked. "I don't want to go in I want to play some more." I told him right away that if he didn't move his heiney into the house and get ready for lunch "right now" that I was going to call Grandpa and Grandma and tell them we weren't comming. In he ran, TJ on his heels. When I finally made it inside Avery looks at me, poised in front of the TV.

Avery: "Mommy can I watch Noggin?"

And before the last sylable of the question exits his lips I hear the TV buzz to life. I confess, I lost it. Right then. The smart ass in me was unleashed.

Me: "Gee Avery, thanks for waiting for me to answer you before you turned on the TV."

Avery: "You're Welcome."

GRRRRRRRRR...Geez kid! Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it? LOL Joking aside I know that sounded harsh. But there's my vent.